letters from august

-

Did you know that if you smoke long enough

nicotine will eventually make you shit

and that's how you get him out -

shit by shit

you get him out.


-

I put my cigarette in a flower pot

like you started,

and this lonely new “ash-tray”

now relies on me to feed it.


-

you're mad that I cancelled on you?

do you know how many times I thought about you that fucking weekend??


-

You know that light you gave me for my birthday?

That “light fixture”, you called it?

Sometimes it flickers when I light it

and the first thing I think

is if it only flickers 

when you think about me..

or is that because every time it does

that stupid dance with the darkness

I think about you

and I hope you think about me too.


Were you even real?

I don’t question if what we had was real.

I know it was.

but I question your existence.

did I make you up in my head?


-

I still haven’t read “Alice in Wonderland” you gave me.

I’m kind of scared that if I do,

you might be out of my memories then. 

and I finally think about you all the time again.


I’m sorry I got carried away with life

and left you away and alone 

by that river of my life. 


I promise I still love you

and think about you always.

I even do coke now because of you.


-

You know,

after a while

you're not “hot”

when you’re sad.

You’re just an old man

with a broken heart

who’s ugly

and unloved

and all you have

is your past.

and that’s when the 

future starts.


-

I never want this cigarette to finish 

because I promised myself I would be in another universe by then

and I’m not ready


-

Broke a glass on my fucking fire escape

don’t go in there


-

Take a sip

Take a bump

Take a little bit of everything 

That life gives you 

“Sup”

Take a nap

Take a shit

Take a little bit of everything 

That life gives you

“Neat..”

Take with ice

Take without 

Take a little bit of everything

That life gives you

“Nice”

Be a fool

Be an ass 

Take a little bit of everything

That life gives you

“Cool”


-

“Grass is always greener on the other side”…

Bruh,

grass don’t even grow ova here 🤙🏻




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