letters from april

-

Meaning fades away faster than ink

on my rugged skin.

-

Please don’t expect honesty in return. 

I only have humor left.

-

You set there quietly

while I told you stories of my lives and deaths

while venom of a green toad traveled in to my lungs

and brain.

It’s not for you to hear.

-

Blame me for misfortunes

I am bad luck.

Blame me for sadness

I am omen of depth.

Blame me for beauty

all of it was stolen from my parents’ youth.

Blame me for unspoken fights

I am old fashioned that way.

Blame me and blame shall enter my body

not unlike your anger when it left the ocean.

You were the son of the sea

blue-eyed and careless.

Blame me, my lord.

Blame me, God of Endless Seas and Storms.

Blame me, for I crave your attention.

-

The closer you get

the further my thoughts fly.

-

I was taught patience,

Not tolerance.

-

Collected myself into letters

and postcards

and movie theater receipts.

And when I lost them,

I was alone, even from myself.

-

Peppermint and fire

Made my skin thin and green.

-

I climb that happy tree

When you’re close to me.

-

If painkillers wear off

I think of your palms,

cupping my chin,

of your thumbs,

perfectly fit on my cheekbones.