letters from april

 -

I consist of my persona

and your disappointment for it.

-

What chance of happiness do you think you have

as an immigrant..?

what chance of happiness ..

Time will catch up with you

or cancer will

or stress of your meaningless work

or loneliness 

or poverty 

or .. 

list goes on 

and fears, renting my mind,

have not crossed yours.

What chance of happiness..

of true,

carefree,

childlike,

coral, 

basic happiness ..

And your small painkillers -

cigarettes and

cups of coffee,

hug me like their seizing child. 

nights at a movie theaters,

and conversations with friends,

and reading books in subway tunnels and

salty crackers!

small painkillers of yours

are only there to numb your sadness

and keep you company..

What chance of happiness ..

You’re tired.

You’re always tired.

You don’t have the privilege of not being tired.

You are a stranger here, 

a very strange stranger. 

Trying to prove things to other strangers,

and you’ll lose,

you’ll lose days,

and health

and hair

and weight.

forget seeking home.

we’re like children,

left on the subway platform.

I’m here with you.

At the station. Waiting.

Train will be here soon.

Will we end up on it

or under it 

But there is hope.

And while there is hope,

there is effort.

And this effort caries each day into night.

And mornings are when this alien hope,

With no alien number,

renews itself

reinvents itself 

like us.

day in and day over.

Smile for me

Isn’t this life beautiful!

this eternal search..